REALITY BYTES

Brett Michaels really needs to get off this bus, quickly. If this “rocker” has any serious music left in him and doesn’t need the money that Vh1 filters down to him - Michaels needs to re-evaluate his life; maybe even, re-invent himself.

The passage of time will find us all gravitating down towards the ground. Our bodies tend to sag and given enough time, we can even begin to shrink. After awhile, our dreams and ambitions even tend to diminish.

Has Brett Michaels career sagged to the point of no return? Get back to your roots, Brett! Your ambitions have been sliding into Vh1-land too far! Pretty soon you will be growing donkey ears and hee-hawing just like Pinocchio did! Even your nose is growing nasal hair. Brett.. for gods sake… don’t …. to late, Brett.

In the beginning, Rock of Love was funny and more of a novelty, than a reality show. It brought Brett Michaels riches untold, by expanding his fan base to include people that would not have paid a dime to watch him perform, before.

Now, Rock of Love is a bus without a driver. Hell, the bus isn’t even on the road freaking road! Brett Michaels’ Rock of Love Bus is stuck in Podunk, USA. It either needs an engine overhaul or to be stuffed and mounted, then put on display in the Vh1 lobby. Put a sign on it, “Rock this Bus!”, because no one else seems to be able too.

Does anyone really care which woman wins this Rock of Love season? Will the winner really get Brett Michaels as her grand prize? Then what? Extenze and Viagra will only carry you so far. Then what?

Now Brett Michaels is making noises about producing another reality show, through Vh1. This Brett Michaels brain fart, would have the camera crew follow Brett around on tour. Just another day in the life of a hard rocking Brett Michaels? Wow! Now we can watch Brett send Big John out in the audience to bring back strippers, to keep Michaels warm at the local Motel 6? As Brett would say, “Hootchie Mama!” Whatever the hell that means.

Let’s get real for a moment. If Brett Michaels has a true calling and wants his own show to turn on a dime, give him a reality based talk show. Brett could come out and play a couple of his songs, plug his CDs and become that cheesy talk show host, that he sounds like now. “Hootchie, Wah-Wa!” What ever the hell that means.

“Rock of Love presents: Hootchie Mama! I Want Some of that Furrrrpiee!!” Starring Brett Michaels as host and rock star. Big John could play the “Ed McMahon” and the house band would be made up of Vh1’s stable of stars. You know - Megan, Buckwild, The Entertainer, New York, Brandi C., Pumpkin, etc.

Every week, Brett could have guests on his show from all of his “Rock of Love” past seasons. Michaels could also interview new, up and coming porn stars, just like Howard does on his show. Howard is getting a bit stale right now. Some fresh blood in this brand of talk soup, would be a welcome addition on Vh1. It’s just an idea I had one night, before passing out on the couch.

If Brett Michaels isn’t up for anything like this yet, maybe Eric Clapton or even Prince could fill Brett Michaels shoes. Let’s face it, another “Rock of Love” after this bus crash would be very Millie vanilla, wouldn’t it?

Megan Joy was eliminated from American Idol last night. Simon Cowell turned the “Save” card into a gun, to shoot Megan Joy Corkery with. This might have backfired on Cowell. Time will tell.

Not that Simon Cowell would save his own mother! This American Idol Icon’s feelings were hurt by Megan Joy, when she responded to Ryan Seacrest’s question about Simon’s critique of her the night before. Megan told Seacrest, she really didn’t care what Cowell had said, about her performance being dull and indulgent. Simon fired back at Megan Joy, “Yes, you do.” Then Cowell got all huffy. “I’m not even going to pretend that we’re even going to contemplate saving you!”

God all mighty! Simon Cowell has a thin skin! He can dish it out, but he can’t really take it. Whatta joke.

Recently, Cowell also came out bashing “Twitter”. Needless to say, this “bully boy” of the media is ready for a sound “media” spanking. Simon thinks that Twitter is silly. It’s very thin ice that Cowell is walking on. As a judge on American Idol, Simon Cowell is about as silly as they come.

You would have to really reach at convince most of us, Simon Cowell is trying to aid and nurture the contestants on American Idol. In a recent MSNBC commentary , they found Simon Cowell’s behavior this season, appalling. Cowell spends more time trying to get a rise out of Paula Abdul, than being a judge. Simon Cowell does not take his job on Idol seriously, so why should any of the performers take his bashing to heart?

Meagan Joy Corkery will still be in the American Idol Tour, this summer. Have you noticed how many of the contestants have begun to relax and not get as upset over the judges critiques?

A lot of American Idol fans didn’t expect Megan Joy to even make it this far in the competition. She still needs some polish on her deliveries, yet she brought a very unique voice and style to the show this season.

The judges all agreed that Megan Joy picked the wrong songs to perform. This might be true! American Idol might not have been the best place for Megan Joy to end up in. Megan has the soul of a jazz singer buried in her. Megan Joy’s road trip to fame, might have just begun.

It took awhile for Dancing With the Stars to shake off Steve Wozniak , but last night the Woz man and Holly Madison found themselves in the bottom three, along with Steve O . Wozniak and Madison were both eliminated from this prime time show. Now that Mr. Wozniak has left the building, who is going to be watching Dancing With the Stars?

It’s no accident the Steve Wozniak didn’t get voted off sooner than last night. It would be interesting to see if Dancing With the Stars actually loses some prime time viewers next week. Mac fanatics turned off their computers and tuned into DWTS to watch Wozniak compete in this dance competition. Now that Steve Wozniak is voted off Dancing With the Stars, will ratings dip with any significance?

Holly Madison was easy on the eyes, yet Holly seemed almost too shy about breaking out of her shell and relaxing with her dance performances. Falling off her chair during her dance routine on Monday evening, didn’t help Holly Madison’s chances either. Too much pressure on this former girl next door ?

Steve O found himself in the bottom three last night and addressed the amount of pressure he was under, competing in DWTS. Steve O commented that at least he wasn’t getting loaded on drugs, or alcohol to get through his stint this season. Whatta jackass! Gotta love him, though. Steve O will really have to pick up his game for next week, if he really wants to stay in Dancing With the Stars. Steve O is currently at risk to be voted off sooner, than later.

This is a clip of the Holly Madison and Steve Wozniak being cast aside, on Dancing With the Stars.

Now that Steve Wozniak and Holly Madison have been voted off Dancing With the Stars, can we expect to see them dancing on “Ellen”, or “The View?

Both Steve and Holly bid a found farewell to the cast and crew alike. They both commented that Dancing With the Stars was a lot of fun and they will miss everyone in this competition.